I Yelled at God, He said: FLY

One evening a long time ago I yelled at God: I hate myself!

When you’re not religious you will do things like yell at God. It had been a rough day and I was angry; it wasn’t done in disrespect, but from an injured spirit. People who have had healthy and loving childhood environments usually don’t have trouble loving themselves. This is for the rest who need to know, God says: Love yourself.

That night I had a dream. I was sitting at the blue tiled table in my kitchen. The little girl seated to my right was silent, sad-eyes staring into nothingness. Straight brown hair touching the shoulders, her only clothing was a full white cotton slip.

cotton slip

My heart filled with compassion for this child. I didn’t see a man, but heard a male voice: This little girl has suffered loss of two family members. I wrapped my arms around her trying to love and comfort, the dream ended with my holding her. I woke up not knowing who she was, then I remembered.

Sitting alone on the other side of the room I watched my cousins opening brightly wrapped Christmas gifts. My grandmother stepped forward and handed me a small thin package. I opened it, inside was a plain white cotton slip. She said gently: It’s all I could afford. It was my only gift. In the dream, God clothed the child version of me in that slip. Maybe it was because grandmother represented love to me; a gift that clothed me in her love. But His main point: Embrace and love you. -God

FLY: First Love Yourself.


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