Whether you choose flight or fight it is action. My friend P.B chose to aggressively fight using the legal system. I on the other hand chose a more passive path, it was a fight that ended with my choosing flight. The fight lasted a little over six months, I finally laid it all down this week.
Both P.B and I have suffered losses but will be much happier in the end. Separation is rarely pleasant but if the situation cannot be resolved it becomes necessary. Her situation is more painful because it involves family/love. My battle was extremely difficult but I am thankful it was not over broken trust. Though I do miss cuddling, it is too risky. I’m not ready to trust on that level, but I am slowly gaining ground. I do find myself being attracted to certain men. When a person is really in-love they will not look at or think of anyone else romantically besides the one they love. This is how you know lost love is fading: new attraction. I probably won’t date for a while, but still it is nice to be able to sense attraction within me again.
Last week I did mention it to God, how I wanted/needed to be held. Weariness from my ongoing battle made me crave love’s shelter. That night I dreamed of a man in a light colored shirt, we held one another for what seemed like a long time. I rested my head on his shoulder with my face towards his chest. Nothing more happened, just a hug. Aren’t you thankful for dreams? I am.
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Now that one battle is over, a new one begins and I don’t know where to go from here. XO