Are You Okay?

At work I am usually chatty and a bit of a cut-up, so when Lou passed me and ask if I was okay, I nodded yes.  A few minutes later Mel called my name and asked the same, again I nodded. A while later another coworker questioned, “Are you okay?”  I said, “You’re the third person to ask within an hour, is it that noticeable?”  “Yes”, she answered.

You do not have to be in a relationship for someone to wound you, but it hurts more when you care for the person.

I work alone  and it gives me a lot of time to think.  Today I’ve given too much thought about why someone would want to hurt me.  On bad days I am thankful to be in an aisle with just my scanner.

We are given many perks where I work, paid time off and even more days off without pay, and do not get faulted if we use them. I left shortly after lunch today. I am taking tomorrow off as well.When you are the one others run to for help, needing help yourself is an odd place to be. Once while experiencing deep depression I called my friend Pam.  She said, “I don’t how to take this, or what to say, I’m the one who calls you for help.” The religious would say turn to God, remember Job, Joseph and King David?  God let them experience depression’s darkness and/or betrayal. If the greatest of mankind has suffered these things, how will we evade such?

I think I will spend my days-off alone this week. Normally Pam and I have dinner and watch movies but I can’t fake it enough to have a visitor. This month visiting with my grandson and daughter several times was happiness, but if my coworkers noticed, there is no hiding it from family, especially my daughter.

This post will probably disappear in a few days, I dislike my negative entries though they be a current reality.   I will replace it with happier posts….

I am torn between two, and hoping to restore what I have lost, is that possible? Until then, I take comfort in what I can.

I agree with these lines in the song “Cheers” by Rhianna:

Life’s too short to be sittin’ round miserable
And people gonna’ talk whether you doing bad or good, yeah.  

 

celebrated II

I’ll face my coworkers and reality with a smile next week. For the next four days I’m going to watch countless episodes of the Gilmore Girls on Netflix, consume salty snacks and drink, probably not the best way to deal with things, just my way.

Much love ❤

 

 

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7 Comments Add yours

  1. biko says:

    didn’t seem okay to pretend as ‘okay’…. but every got their own way of letting it go… 😕 guess there’s a word for that. 😶

    1. It was kind that they asked. If I said I wasn’t okay, then what would they say next? It was lunch time and we have only a short time to eat, why bother them? I am glad they cared but didn’t want to elaborate.

      Tonight a coworker said to me: I need to talk to someone. I asked her what was wrong. She related several things to me, hardships, sorrow of her mothers death. Many of her friends have died and she has no children. She stood there and cried, I hugged her. Not long after she went home. We must fulfill our obligations at work, and we are monitored, so we can only speak briefly. Pray for her. Thank you.

      1. biko says:

        Yes, that was so nice of you. It is a good thing if we can be there when someone needs us.

      2. She is going through extreme depression. Her mother died as a result of another family members actions.

        Love never fails.

      3. biko says:

        that’s bad for her mom. But now that she has your support, am hopeful that your friend will pull through.

      4. Its true that we need friends who support us but God is most important. She lost her faith in God by listening to other beliefs that destroyed her faith. I would like to spend time with her but we work opposite days. I am believing God will uplift her.

      5. biko says:

        AMEN… a long story here,

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